May our prayer be a reflection of our lives; may our lives be guided to be a reflection of our prayer.
Life reflected in prayer:
For the first 10 years of my life I lived in an interfaith house. I remember loving Christmases with my maternal family and a hanukkiah being lit right beside the christmas tree. In California, we searched for a synagogue where our life was reflected in the prayer space. Not only did we find a space where we were welcomed, but our rabbi created a ritual to honor all of the non-Jewish parents of Jewish children. When my mother ultimately decided to convert, she was welcomed with open arms; still beloved just the same, within the covenant, too. As our rabbi held our family in its complexity, I want to perform rituals that hold congregants in all aspects of their lives.
Prayer guiding life:
As our prayers reflect our lives, I learned that prayers should guide action when I learned that we were made in the image of a gracious and compassionate God who is slow to anger and great in kindness. I got involved at an early age in efforts to raise money for Save Darfur, fought for marriage equality in California, and led my J Street U chapter in college. The image of a God as loving, combined with the Talmudic injunction that a life is the whole world (Sanhedrin 37a) were powerful distillations from where I derived Jewish pride; as a nation which promotes dignity for all human beings.
Jewish peoplehood:
As I grew older, my pride in Judaism morphed from a motivator towards social justice into a holistic community; filled with learning, ritual, friends, music, and culture. Most acutely, I found this on a farm called Isabella Freedman Jewish Retreat Center as a Jewish outdoor educator. It was there that I started paying heed to shabbat, learned how to pray, and lived with Jews from all backgrounds and denominations. Not only did I live with all kinds of people, but we learned to care for each other. My two best friends that developed at that time are an orthodox rabbi and a queer socialist. Our differences have only strengthened our relationships, and that’s how I hope to approach any community I join.
Theology:
I also developed my theology and my readiness to start the process of becoming a Jewish spiritual leader at Isabella Freedman. My job there was to help 5th and 6th graders develop a relationship and sense of responsibility towards the earth through Jewish language. We made blessings at glorious sights, shouted “sababa” (slang for “cool” in Hebrew) at interesting finds, and prayed outside. I found God there; where there was almost entirely unmediated connection between myself and others, or myself and nature. God was present when I felt my hands in the soil, and equally present during deep conversations with students or peers. I was moved by Jewish prayer because it connected me to the Jewish family across the temporal and geographic spectrum; all while I conferred with God. My relationship with God and my connection to Jewish prayer each encourage me to live a life guided by my values every day.
Another place where God showed up for me was on the streets of San Francisco. In 2023, I spent the summer as a pastoral counselor for the San Francisco Night Ministry, where I provided spiritual care for those who lived on the streets of some of the grittier parts of the city. Some of the people were in the lowest moments of their lives. But in the act of being a present listener to them, I saw people who were simply searching for dignity. They were kind, humble, and lost. We prayed together, and I think of them often.
Indeed, my life was guided by my prayers, and my prayers reflected my values.
Jewish spiritual leadership:
So my sense of Jewish spiritual leadership was set. Yes, a relationship with the earth was important to me. I deeply care about having a relationship with the local community in which I reside. I care about connecting across all of the Jewish people. And, most importantly, I want to be present to the needs of those whom I serve. Seeing someone develop a spiritual sensibility is a lifelong endeavor. It is my greatest honor to see people grow in their relationship to the world around them. One of the greatest parts of Judaism is that it acknowledges that we need a community to help us along the way. My role is to make everybody feel seen in a community, and give people opportunities to grow and be celebrated in their growth.
Prayer music:
On a practical level, prayer spaces are opportunities to bring together the community at large. Whereas other activities in a synagogue separate people based on demographics, needs, or values, the prayer space is ideally a place where everyone feels at home. To that end, the prayer that I gravitate towards in Jewish space tries to hold the paradox of being timeless while speaking to the present moment. It is communal singing, with opportunities for listening. It is adaptive to the congregation’s needs, and tries to be playful about instrumentation and speed to enliven a space. Prayer is fun, and it opens us up to be moved to action.
